Mother of the Year

Grayson tried to drown himself today.

Uh huh. 

He had no floaties on. No life-jacket. No ring around his stomach. And no, he cannot swim. He's freaking two.

I'll pause while you call child protective services.

Let me tell you the full story. This kid loves to go to the pool. "MA! GO WAWER! MA!" He packs up his bag of "truches" and I pack up SPF 9000 and off we go! Gideon mostly naps in the stroller with the occasional splash in the baby pool while mommy bakes in the sun. And Grayson REFUSES to get in. He'll barely stick his feet in. If you even mention to him it might be fun to actually get IN the pool, he loses his cool. He'll throw every single truck he owns in the damn pool and then find some sweet, unsuspecting, brave 3-year old to fetch them.

And this is what we do.

Until today.

I was having a very nice conversation with another pool mom today when my very un-brave 2 year old ventured over to the 3-4 foot pool. No biggie. He'll never get in. Well the little douche leaned for a ball and.......SPLASH. Gravity and the biggest head in the world combined and toppled him into the WAWER. I watched the whole thing go down. It's not like I wasn't eagle eying him like an effing hawk.  I just underestimated how far he would go to get a ball.

We sprinted. We screamed. The sweet boy in the pool pulled him out before I reached him. He was literally under for 3 seconds. The longest 3 seconds of my life.

No crying. No fear of the water. But I'm sure there was plenty of judging.

I'd judge me. Hell, I'm already judging me. But then I remember those 3 seconds of utter, uncontrollable, hysterical fear and I think I've claimed my punishment. Anyone aware of a facility that gives swimming lessons without the actual act of getting in the water?