It won't let me post a video otherwise I'd share his craziness with you. You should be thankful I'm too dumb to figure it out because you'd go straight to your OB's office and demand an immediate full hysterectomy. I'm kidding!! It's adorable!! (Nope. Still not even a little bit.)
Gideon has also decided he no longer requires real naps. Apparently nine hours of sleep a day is good enough for 7 month-olds nowadays. He did not ask my opinion about his new schedule nor does he give two shits that I completely disagree with it. The only way I can trick a nap out of him is by spending 6 hours a day at the pool. I think I'll just stop complaining there before any of you working mommies come after me with a 2x4.
I've become obsessed with all things bladder and bowel related concerning Grayson. We are working on potty training, if only because he's grown out of the pull-ups we spent a hundred bucks on 6 months ago, so daddy decided it was time to give it another shot. Dude KNOWS how to do it; most times he just simply refuses. He hates getting his diaper changed and cannot stand to have poo on his bum. So go on the freaking potty right? Am I RIGHT? Nuh-uh. Instead let's tell mommy we have to go potty, then throw a (literal) shit fit about sitting on the throne until mommy gives up. THEN pee on the floor. After all that is said and done, take a shit in the too-small pull up and kick mommy while she attempts the change. Sounds super fun!
My next poo-poo obsession (freaky that I have more than one...or any for that matter) also involves Grayson's inconvenient need to get the poop out. The pool. Ughhhhhhh. I HATE swim diapers. What is the effing point?? They absolutely do not absorb a gosh darn thing. NOTHING! If the kid pees, it just falls right out. God forbid he poops. The swim diaper just literally holds the turd in an enclosed area while pool water accumulates, rapidly diminishing any type of stability said turd once had. You better catch any type of warning signs before or immediately after or risk contaminating the entire kiddie pool. And let's be honest, I can't afford to be THAT mom. I mean, look, my kid almost drowned in front of my sweet, new pool friend. She didn't judge. And it's only a matter of time before Grayson loses his cool over a truck and jacks someone in the head. I'm saving all my good karma for that situation. I surely am not wasting it on pool shit.
Okay, okay enough #2 talk. Lets talk about my second favorite topic. Dieting! Yay! Oh God.
My new pool friends all utilize and distribute Xyngular. It works for them and they love it which leads to a lot of diet convos. So it's not my fault that my old friend, "the diet", has come back rearing its ugly head. Yeah, yeah I cleansed my obsession a few posts ago with the Mrs. Fat thing and busting my weight wide open on a public forum. I mean, obviously I'm a psycho-face cause who freaking DOES that? So you shouldn't be too surprised that I'm back at it....beating a dead horse. I'm thinking of trying their programs, but I'm also considering just giving up eating anything that tastes good. Surely that'll help me lose the Freshman 15. (I can still call it that even though I'm in my 30's so shut the hell up.)
I'm not gonna bust out any numbers this go around, but I guess I'll give you a hint. It's last time minus 1. Whoo-hoo! A whole 1 pound. I decided this time I'll post a picture of flabby arms and tummy to help my motivation. It's a good thought anyway.
Happy 4th friends!
No comments:
Post a Comment