My 15 pound preemie

My boy turned 4 months old yesterday. It seems like he was born forever ago. And not in the cliched "I feel like he's always been with me" or the "I loved him before he existed" way. In the " I can't believe we both made it outta that alive" and "I wanna put it far, far behind us" kind of way. This kid knows how to make an entrance. And not in a good way.

I'm sure y'all know about the 10-week early deal and the horrific NICU experience. That's old news. And news that I've finished whining about :)

Disclaimer: If you are currently pregnant, or ever plan on being pregnant, ever, then don't read this next bit of crap. It never happens to anyone (except me) and you'll spend the rest of the night googling "how do I prevent my uterus from blowing up and spitting out my 4 pound baby into my ribs". Seriously, this kind of stuff only happens to this chic. I'm sure your sweet little bundle of unborn joy will stay sweetly tucked in your closed uterus for the duration of childbirth. That is the way it is intended to be, right? Well apparently nobody told THIS GUY.......

I'll give you the short version and highlight the scary parts. November 7th I was home with Grayson, 30 weeks and 5 days pregnant. My hubby was in Texas for work and my boy and I were gonna eat and play and eat and nap. Butttttt.....instead I started bleeding and freaking. And freaking and bleeding. In that order. Fast forward to a scared baby daddy speeding home from Texas. My scared daddy rushing me to the hospital. My step mom and brother holding my hand all day and the sweetest little blonde haired boy winning over everyone in Labor and Delivery. The day was pretty much uneventful. They tried to stop the contractions, unsuccessfully, and we talked about VBAC and NICU. The baby was gonna come, but on our terms. So they thought.

About 3 I asked for something, anything, to help with the pain. Ya see, I'm no hero. I know the contractions are getting worse. It hurts, but it doesn't have to. VBAC, C-section, whatever, as long as I can't feel it. They gave me a little morphine which helped 2%. And then my kid decided he was busting out of that hellhole he'd been living in. Uh huh. Ouch. You ever had anything rip through an organ and hang out in your abdominal cavity? (My pain is worse than yours. For real.) :)

My step mom then attached herself to me, calmly, and ordered them to fix whatever was causing this pain. My dad, God bless him, did NOT have a heart attack as he watched the monitors. I think that was his biggest accomplishment in this life! Gideon's heart rate was in the 40's and I was screaming. And screaming. Emergency c-section time. Get the kid out. I was strapped down and the doc stood over me with a scalpel. Told Steve, the anesthesiologist, to put me out quick or she was cutting anyway.

But that's what I got for being a brave big girl! We were both battered and bruised, but hanging on. And four months later, I'm still amazed at our good fortune. We are blessed. We are lucky. And we are happy.