All My Love

In a million, ba-jillion years I never woulda ever thought I would be on such a short leash. I'm not allowed to leave the house alone. I can't have a conversation on the phone in private. My shower is performed with the curtain open. You don't even want to know how public any other business in that particular room is accomplished. It's degrading. I never sit in a chair alone. Hell, I can't even have my own damn sandwich. I share my iPad, my bed, my tv, my keys, my blanket, my cell phone and my underwear. YES. My underwear. Hitler likes to run around the house with my (freshly laundered) underwear ON HIS HEAD. I can't deal.

He has no boundaries. In his mind, we are one. As long as I am within his view, all is right with the world. If I go into the bedroom to put up the laundry/hide my skivvies he runs through the house yelling Ma! Ma! Ma! On a side note, what kind of child in the 21st century calls his mommy Ma?

That's psychoface waiting patiently for me on the bathroom floor.

That's my stalker wearing my sunglasses.

Crazytown sleeping sideways in my bed.

I love and adore both of my children. Gideon and I went to hell and back together so we will always have that (sick, twisted) beautiful bond. There are aspects of each of their personalities that are my favorite. Likewise, some things they do make me seriously consider dropping one or both off at the nearest fire station. But my oldest owns me. He gave me the beautiful gift of motherhood. He will always be all the "firsts" in this journey. He is my teacher, my heart, my conscious, my drive and my love. And I am his Ma.