Before you read...this topic tends to make me certifiably nuts. If you can't handle a little language, a little grossness and/or a little crazy, this blog is definitely not for you. Go read the last one about my sweet baby boy :)
I struggle with my weight. Not necessarily losing or maintaining. As I've gotten older I know how my body works. I can't eat whatever I want and skip the gym. In fact, just the opposite is true for me. I avoid pastas, pizza, chocolate and basically all carbs like they are chasing me with a chainsaw. I rigidly stick to my daily workouts and vary my routine regularly. It's just what I have to do to be able to look at myself in the mirror (in my skinny jeans).
Let me paint you a picture of obsession. I have 300 outfits, all in my size, that will fit better when I lose ten more pounds. Really? My husband tells me I'm beautiful. My response? "Yeah, if you're the kind of guy who LIKES fat asses." That usually earns me a crazy look cause most guys do, in fact, prefer a little fat ass. Trust me. But does that really change the way I feel? No. A big, fat NO!
The other day I asked my husband how much he weighs. And do you want to know what that idiot did? He went straight to the bathroom and STEPPED ON THE SCALE! Mid-day, fully clothed, pre-poop, post-lunch. Oh my gosh. Insanity. And do I buy into this whole mom-body business? Nope. Neither does Giselle. Yeah I compared myself to Giselle. You got a problem with that?
Fact is, I'm in the best shape of my life. This apparent obsession has me twenty five pounds lighter than when I got knocked up with my first kid. No fad diets here. Just hard work and good decisions. Occasional Nutter Butters and Alfredo. But I still stress about that number on the scale. Does everyone? Does it really freaking matter that much? If you are one of those non-nutso persons who threw out their scale, good for you! I commend you. But I will never be you. I can't live in "only thing that matters is how your pants feel" la-la land. That's crazy talk. How are you supposed to know if you lost a half a pound if you don't get on the scale? I've come to terms with this lifestyle and I think God did too. That's why he gave me boys. To break the psycho cycle. Butttttt....I've decided I'm going to post it anyway. This morning the scale said 147.6. Whew....I feel better. The scale doesn't own me.
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